Most Top Reasons Why Couples Break Up!
- Womenscorner Desk
- July 13, 2020
1. In a relationship’s honeymoon period, a couple’s differences tend to stay in the background. The partners’ similarities prevail. This is when the attraction is strongest and the relationship has time to form. But, inevitably the honeymoon stage doesn’t last. After the honeymoon, the real relationship sets in. In a real relationship, we get disappointed, we don’t always get our needs met, we don’t like everything about our partners, and we don’t always agree on important things. When the real relationship sets in, many couples:
- Have escalating conflicts
- Feel like they chose the wrong mate
- Blame each other for their problems
- Think about breaking up
Usually, this means that couples have not found a way to diffuse conflict, solve problems, accept their differences, and continue to be as kind and generous as when
they first met. Sometimes couples separate or divorce at this stage.
2. Relationship experts keep saying that a relationship needs “work.” But, more than “work,” a relationship needs attention. Most couples start out highly satisfied. At some point, however, they start to take each other for granted and stop paying attention to one another. When couples stop paying attention to the relationship, they experience:
Disconnection: they have grown apart and no longer feel connected
Lack of touch: they don’t touch each other anymore or as often
Lack of sex: they don’t have sex or not as often
Separation: they don’t do things together
So, as normal stresses of a life together pile up and crowd out time for romance and intimacy, couples may put less effort into their relationship. Or, they may let the grievances they hold against one another tear them apart. Some couples divorce or separate because of severe disconnection rather than severe conflict.
These first two points are the most common reasons couples request an appointment with a couples counselor. They also happen to be the two situations when couples counseling works best.
3. A third common reason for a break up is a perceived lack of balance between partners. When one partner feels like they accommodate or change more than the other
partner, one or both people may feel like they can’t influence their partner.
As the relationship evolves over time, couples need to adjust to changed circumstances, changed roles, and changed life experiences. If one member of the couple does most of the changing, resentment may set in.
A well-trained counselor can help re-balance the expectation for change, manage conflict, deal with differences, and repair disconnections to avoid painful breakups or to help break up with dignity.
In some circumstances, one of the members of the couple loses hope, but the other member believes that the relationship can be improved and saved. In those cases, a few sessions of discernment counseling can help.
Information Source : Google
